It's just a little pin prick!

Western Medicine? Ha! I've lost a lot of respect for such. True, Western Medicine had finally diagnosed, and informed me of my condition - after years of issues and suffering, mind you. I still feel it neglected me, and failed me miserably. Not to knock it, but personally, it has let me down, and I think it's fair to say I'm disappointed by it.

Upon being told of this condition, this PCOS, I was told that I would be referred to a specialist, an OB/GYN, who then would refer me to another specialist, an Endocrinologist...There was blood tests to be done, physical exams to be had, along with hormone therapy treatments, possible surgery...the catch being, a year and a half wait time. Yeah, you read me right, a year and a half. I had a 18 months to worry, stress, and make myself sick about it. And that I did, immediately, and in that order.

Seeing as I had nothing but time on my hands, I began buying and devouring books, and any form of literature I could find on the matter. I was always thirsty for more knowledge on the subject, because, as they say, knowledge is power, and let's face it, I was feeling pretty darn powerless. And that was how I first discovered alternative treatments for my disorder, a more natural approach. So in stepped Naturopathic Medicine into my life. Or Eastern. And In my opinion a God send. I'll admit I was a bit sceptical at first, but I felt like I had absolutely nothing to lose, so I found a licensed Naturopathic Doctor, and began frequenting his clinic.

Enter Acupuncture. I started my acupuncture treatments on my very first visit. Dr. B told me he could establish a cycle for me, and that in time, and with frequent treatments, it would stimulate ovulation, my hormones would naturally balance out, and he was confident that babies would be in my near future. He empathized with me, understood all my concerns, even took the time to talk to me about it all when no other health care professional did, not even my own Doctor. He offered me hope, and I grabbed that hope with both hands, determined to hold on to it.

Tap. That was the only sensation I felt as each pin entered my body. With 5 in each leg, and 6 in my pelvic area, I laid there looking like a human porcupine, and feeling a little bit ridiculous. I asked, "Why my legs, too?", and was informed that there are nerves within the legs that run up and into the reproductive system, and that he was attempting to stimulate and clear of any blockages. I can see the logic in that, it makes sense I suppose, I thought with a shrug. I was open to anything at that point, and I couldn't knock it until I gave it a chance, otherwise that would have made me just an ignorant hypocrite.

After an hour and a half, I left Dr. B's office, feeling relatively positive and not really sure what to expect. Truthfully, I never really had any expectations, so when I woke the following morning, I was caught off guard and delightfully surprised... Aunt Flo had her bags in hand and was knocking at my door. I was ecstatic! A period of my very own, 'magine that! Less than 24 hours after the first treatment, and the first order of success had been completed. Coincidence? I think, and know not. It confirmed my belief beyond a shadow of a doubt in Acupuncture. I was sold on it.

A week and a half later at my following appointment with Dr. B he asked me right away, "So, have you noticed any changes since your last visit?" And with a huge smile on my face, I excitedly replied, "I had a period. A normal period!" With a smile of his own, he said, "I figured that's what you'd tell me."

Since then I've now had 4 rounds of acupuncture,(my 5th this coming Monday), now including 8 pins in my lower back, and certain nerves along my spine. With every treatment, it gets more intense, as sensations grow more and more stronger. The only way I can explain it is as a warm, tingly current running up and down my body, it feels amazing. And now heat lamps are used to add heat energy to further intensify. It never fails, I just start into a blissful sleep, and slip into a dream, when I hear Dr. B say, "I'm gonna take these pins out now."

It's been just 6 weeks into treatments, and I've had two regular cycles now. I do not suffer from the uncomfortable and constant bloating I had prior, my pelvic pain had ceased, and the ever-present cramping in my lower back is now non-existent. I can feel the change in my body, and it continues to change, to heal. And to think, all this without having to turn to those harsh hormone treatments first mentioned, with lists of side effects a mile long. That was always my last resort anyway, I was terrified of them.

Just a little pin prick?

...No just my saving grace.

Shake me, wake me, don't let this nightmare take me!

I have always been told that I have an excellent memory, and this is true. There is far little in my life that I do not have a detailed recollection of, even from a very young, and tender age. Therefore, I can easily remember being but 5 years old, and sitting in a little, white-washed, wooden lawn chair, in the front lawn of my father's house. It was mid-afternoon, the sun was shining, there was a gentle warm breeze kissing my warmed skin, and I had a small notebook in hand. I was dreaming. Not the kind of dream that you have to be asleep for, but the kind of dream that you envision awhile you're awake, a dream of the future - And my dream, to grow up to be a Mommy.

With my chubby little hand, I sat jotting down names for the future children, and without a moment's hesitation I can still tell you those exact names. I'm 27, (almost 28) now, and true, those names have changed many times throughout the course of the years, but one thing that has always been a constant, and has never changed, is the fact that I want to be a Mommy. It's my destiny, I've always thought that, felt that. That my sole purpose of being put on this earth was to be some one's Mommy. That some future, pending soul needed my love and guidance, as much as I needed theirs. And so, this past January, when I heard the words, "Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome," that's when my dream became a dream of nightmarish proportions.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), or also known as, Polycystic Ovarian Disease, no matter how you say it, or what you call it, it all means the same thing to me, worst nightmare. The nightmare part? Infertility. Hurts to even use that word, it's ugly, but nonetheless, it's my reality, PCOS is the leading cause of infertility in women. Lucky me, I'm in that 5-8% of women who suffer from it. Of course I use sarcasm when saying this, I hate this. And the funny thing about this, or not so funny, is that I'm not at all surprised, it figures. You see, deep down I've always had this fear that somehow something would hinder my having children, and I was right. Fear or intuition? They say we know our bodies best, right?

Anteverted uterus, cervical cysts, collection of pelvic fluid, polycystic ovaries abnormally massive; fluid filled, amenorrhea...infertility. Kind of difficult to achieve pregnancy when you have no cycle, do not ovulate, and can not release an egg. It all completely has devastated me, I cry a lot these days, like I say, worst nightmare. I ache for a baby, and I refuse to accept that it might never happen when it's all I've ever wanted out of this life. I also refuse to let this dream be stolen from that 5 year-old girl. She first dreamed the dream, so I'm gonna be the one to make it a reality. A dream realized is a dream hoped for, right? I'll fight this, I vow, and I'll be one of those success stories, just you wait an see.

To be continued...